Bye Bye

How ironic is it my previous post was titled hello and this is bye bye
But bye bye indeed
because im going to singapore
I've went there so many times,
I thought i wouldn't be excited for it anymore
but heck im rather excited ahahhaha
I can't wait to see my aunt and take loads of pictures


BUT THEN
I have to wake up at 4 am tomorrow..
omg whut first time waking up at 4
i told my dad i don't wanna sleep tonight
cause i dont think i could wake up at 4
even if zelo comes and wake me
ok wait zelo maybe i would
but wake up at 4 to sit in the car for 5 hours weeeeeps


Plus, I haven't even pack yet
ughhhh i hate packing
im so lazy
can clothes pack themselves i mean like
that would make my life hundred times easier


and can you believe that my dad said that we should go shopping
lmao first time ever he said that IM JUST



Im procrastinating here because i dont want to pack
but it's quater past nine already and i cant even
i gotta pack



so hope you guys have fun
enjoy your holidays if you have em :D
Bye see you when im homeee
Hopefully.



oh and finished 2 of john green's book
and i died like 2 times..
reminder ..not to read john green books one after another
i still have 2 more of his books
he is such a great writer
he made me think about so much stuff
I didnt really cried when i read looking for alaska
but holy shit the fault in our stars
I started crying 50 pages before it ended..
and after it ended,i just closed the book and laid on the floor
and continued sobbing
oh god i have not cried so much over a book gdi

Hello

Hello there..
It's been a while.
Loads happened ,obviously.
it's been more than a month.
i blame my on going laziness.
Anyways, I'm on sem break now.
so supposedly i would blog everyday ahahha but i did not.

My music is back holla.
but it's not the only thing that's back.
BROCCOLI IS BACK TOO.
i was wondering why is she back so fast..
and then i read her blog ahahha.
So you're going pahang now huh.
cryingg dump me all alone in selangor what is this.
I hope you enjoy yourself there tho
you probably will anyways ahhaha.

I'm going singapore next week i think.
I went to the passport renewal place yesterday.
and lemme tell you that it's not one bit fun.
but if you think that standing for 5 hours straight is fun
then its probably your cup of tea.
BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE
i renewed my passport..duhhh
and i read most of looking for alaska.
I couldve finish it there but i dont feel like it
i need a nice place to finish such a nice book ahahah


I wanted to find a job since i have like six weeks but then there's like trips planned
so i dont think anyone wants  a worker that takes leaves basically everyday
god of excuses = alicia



So i saved up money to see bap in singapore..
but i dont think its happening now
im going back before they are going to singapore.
this is one sad love story i know


I dont feel like going to singapore
i've went there sooo many times
but i miss my aunt so im going anyways
hahah what am i talking


ok so im going to stop here
i shall post soon
real soon.

asdfghjkl;

Do you know that feeling when you're stressed out by all the stuff that you have to do ,but you're still too lazy to do it. Shit.
Thats exactly me right now.
Next week is gonna be hell for me.
2 days of chem test.
1 day of math test.
Due date for bio report
My english oral presentation

IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE.

I havent even started my bio report and presentation slides.
Im hearing myself gradually decomposing.


Other than that..
I got my license like the first time..
omg without paying and stuff..
i was shocked..LOL.
but i still suck at parking without tiang now.
i need more practice so i wont dissapoint the examiner who gave me a pass.
And i drove to college today..
with dad.
HOLY SHIT.
THAT HIGHWAY SHIT IS INTENSE.
AND ROUNDABOUTS TOO.
so damn scary.
My hands was literally shaking and sweating and cold..
like i was still shaking after i reach college.
And got honked by people LOL.
mean people mean.


well i wished my bio teacher is like ms charity..
like ms charity gave guidelines and a sample report for us to do ..
since its new to us.
but my bio teacher just expect us to do it by ourselves.
WHERE IS THE LOGIC AT.
crieees i dont know how to start this report and im gna die.


thats why its like eleven now and i feel like going to sleep so i dont need to think about it anymore.
I NEED TO FINISH THESE FAST
LEGIT CRIES.

oh an my glasses caused allergies thingy came back and it sucks.
i need to wear contacts for like a whole day now.
and NO.
i hate it ..
but i have too waills.



Goodnight peeps.
broccoli is gone so i doubt anyone will read my blog now so yeah..
basically typing for myself to read ahahah
ok bai.

Thank you so very much

WHAAAZZZAP
I feel so much better today its weird..
its like 1000000 times better omg
LOL i thought i can pull off the emo forever thing..
but that is hard man no joke..
one day of being in sadness is really enough for me..
my heart felt heavy for the WHOLE day yesterday gawd it was awful..
but today as light as feather ..
like i see rainbows everywhere lol
but seriously i dont think rainbows will ever make my heart lighter
bieber will..that time my heart can even fly.
anywaysss..
i did actually successfully restrained myself from twitter bwahahahha
CLAPS CLAPS ALICIA YOU DID GREAT



its 1 am now and i have driving lesson tomorrow..
I thought i was gonna be all alone
but broccolli just told me she was going too
asdfghjkl; TEARSSSS thank the vegetable godddd
anywaysss
i just wanna type this post out ahahahha..



Everybody was super nice to me YESTERDAY..
lmao i seriously dont know what they think i would do.
but i appreciate it
some of my aunts cared to asked about it so thank youuu..
oh and cousinsss too
and one of my uncleee
you guys are amazinggg..



and wattie was totally funny..
when i finally tweeted this morning..
she was like freak out mode "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN"
and said this was her first time worrying about someone blah blah
and that she feels weird and awkward LMAO
thats why she should go get a boyfriend or something ahahahah
ahha i know i've said this but i dont think i've said this enough..
Thank youuuu i love you
i cant wait for you to get your ass back here.




lmao adrea did actually realize im gone from twitter..
she mentioned me loool..
and she "accidentally" called me just now..
she called and asked for ANDREW.
great jobbb
she said she was looking at andrew's number but dailed my number...
LOL SERIOUSLY THIS GURRRL




Skyped with lyn for almost the whole day gaaaawd..
i cant wait to go karaoke together  okayyyy
ahahhaha




and Broccoliii i saw your reply thingy on your blog..
ahahah thank youuuu so much you're great <3 nbsp="" p="">i can give you free of charge next time if i ever make it LOLOLOLOLOLOL



Didnt expect so many people to care but holy shit you people are insaneee
thank you so much again..
dont even know how grateful i am to have you guys in my life
im lucky and blessed to have you guys here and this is getting cheesy
and i should stop before i cringe up till my fingers cant type anymore.


oh but definitely grateful to bieber bigbang bap infinite tumblr jennifer lawrence demi lovato ed sheeran rihanna the wanted
like you guys's videos and music made me feel super happy and blissful lol
 and all the other people that i like
ITS HARD TO LIST ALL OF THEM DOWN..
but those are the ones i listened to most yesterday coughs infinite coughs



DRIVING TEST MONDAY
COLLEGE TUESDAY
BACK TO LIFE I GUESS.


The stuff i said i would do in the holidays are all undone.
hip hip huuray ..
im gonna suffer in the coming days man
thats what you get alicia





I should really go to bed now so byeee.

:(

crying because Adrea Tan.
Why does she always makes me cry omg.

Hmmm

So I got my spm results..
I dont really know what to feel actually..
I wasn't expecting anything so its kinda mixed up.
Well,im happy with my results seeing that it may be worse and at the same time rather disappointed as it could be better?
ahahha i dont know?

To say that im sad about my results hmmm
 i think the fact that im sad is actually that i can't pursue medicine anymore?
well that broke my heart
Cause there's this rule saying that one must get B or above in chem,phy,bio and math to continue studying medicine.
But then i got a c for my chemistry..
well i guess its c for chemistry after all huh.
I dont think i will care if all my other subjects are c but this 4 are B..
at least i can still study medicine that way..
but no..
chemistry C.
well now its messed up.


I guess i lost myself somewhere in 2012 and 2011..
I forgot how much i wanted to be a doctor for a sec there..
I've always only wanted to be a doctor..
since i remembered..
anytime anywhere someone asked me what do you wanna do when you grow up?
I would always answer doctor..
Since i was 4 i think..
but then i think i kinda forgot all about that for a sec somewhere in the middle
and that sucks..a lot.



Well it hurts
you know how people say that "oh youve done your best ..."
but how do yourself know whether youve done your best?
how do you judge yourself?
have i done my best? really? i dont even know?
i dont know whats the definition of best here..
and i dont have a ruler to measure



oh and for those who got straight A's
Congratulations im really happy for you people :D
like seriously no joke super happy for you guys
LIKE BROCCOLI AND PEE..
OMG YOU GUYS ARE AWESOMEEEE
lol i was clapping SO HARD like a crazy woman when they went up stage bwahahhah...



coincidently infinite are having their comeback today..
and coincidently today is my crappy day..
and coincidently they are helping me get through it..
im super thankful and i love you guys.
you guys now have a special place in my heart,forreals.



I guess i need to think of a new thing to pursue
 but being a doctor will still always be a dream that i will keep,
deep inside my heart :D


Do you guys have any idea?
well i guess i just need to carry on with college now and work harder..
because life goes on right?



this had made me feel better,
i love you blog ,
you've been great,as always.

"nothing worth having comes easy"

WHAT

say hi to perfection zelo

Okay so 'what' can mean so many things.
FIRST WHAT
WHAAAT ITS SUNDAY TOMORROW IS MONDAY WHICH MEANS COLLEGE
OMG...where did my one week nice holiday go..
how did it end so fast i cry
Well i dont really want to go back to college and face my test results asdfghjkl
but seriously someone give time a speeding ticket please
you cant just speed off like that on me
when's our next holiday again...
i think that'll be in March..
go back to college sure no mood to study anyway since it's still cny
plus all my aunties coming back  next week asdfghjkl; cant wait


SECOND WHAT
WHAAATT ALICIA YOU FINISHED YOUR ENGLISH REPORT DRAFT
ahahahahhaha on friday parents wanted to rest at home..
and there's apparently no plans or what sort so i took the time to hibernate and finish up my report.
IT TOOK SO LONG..
CAUSE APPARENTLY I GOT DISTRACTED SO MANY TIMES.
coughs as usual coughs
and all the citation stuff is seriously a headache mannn..
I 've basically done the whole thing except the front page,index and reference list.
and i need to arrange the spacing and stuff then upload it to turnitin
TURNITIN IS ONE DAMNED WEBSITE I TELL YOU
WHO INVENTED THAT
WHO GAVE THE PERSON PERMISSION TO INVENT WEBSITES LIKE THESE
the website apparently is to prevent plagiarism
it will like help you check your report to prove it's 100% originally made by you.
The website is soo picky man asdfghjkl;
and ms charity said that we cannot have more than 10% of similarity and stuff like that
well i just hope my report will turn out well..
cause 10 marks is a lot


THIRD WHAT
WHAT ALICIAAA WHY YOU SO INTO KOREAN MUSIC LATELY
lmao i dont know?
so i need to vent about it here and maybe it'll go off ahahhaha
so this section will drown you in kpop stuff so dont judge or leave thanks
as into as i am right now tho..
i still dont know a lot of groups LOOOOOL...
i am more familiar with guy groups coughs chokes coughs
the only girl group i like is 2ne1 and thats basically it ahahhaha
cause i dont really like the cutesy thing going on with the girl groups.
Ailee gawd that guuuurl though i love her
Ailee is quite different since i listened to her covers on youtube before she went to korea and all that..
like last last year she kinda stopped uploading covers so i unsubscribed her..
i didnt know she became a singer in korea until like last year WHUUUUT
LOL HEART ATTACK.
i thought she would be a singer in the united states or something okay
i was not expecting that.


guys groups..
bigbang obviously got me listening to kpop
well i liked taeyang waaaaay before i liked bigbang tho lol..
like 3 years ago?
since wedding dress bwahhahaha
im still obsessed with that song till date.
but i didnt really get into other korean songs and stuff..untill blueee
oh well...
funny how my top groups all start with B ..okayyy
bigbang block b bap
that was totally not planned.
their music are like hip hop ish and powerful and perfect and talented and i love that so much and i can die
korean hip hop songs although is not as good as drake and eminem and stuff like that..
but their music is EPICCCC
thats actually why i started listening to infinite..
because of infinte H and that flawless sentimental hiphop album of theirs asdfghjkl pls
but i listen to the mainstream songs too because its nice..and catchy.
one thing bout korean groups is their dance zomg thats some flawless shit man
so coordinated so synchronized so cool
bigbang's infinite's bap's dances are the most asdfghjkl best okay
they have the flawless dancers taeyang zelo lemme love you
p.s. forever not believing that zelo is younger than me
they just wow you
im so obsessed with bap's one shot lately and their dance/choreo is so sick i cant even describe it

now that i think of it im not into Sm's artists LOL.
Yg obviously rocks nuff said..
Cube is okay.. just stop with the troublemaker thing pls gawd.
i was not into cube until BtoB exists ahahahh.
Woolim is awesome they have nell and nell is just asdfghjkl and infinite of course
TS idek what is the full name of the company but thank you for BAP.
Stardom is the most messed up company ever because wth did you do to block b my god dont even get me started.
Ailee's company im not sure what it is but its not that popular from what i know..
i think it's good too tho
heyyy just realized im not into JYP's artists too hmmm
what else see i told you i dont know much thats all
I actually hope that US singers will have like the whole korean music industry promoting thing going on..
like go to music shows are promote the single for like a month or so and stuff
it's pretty cool but i guess it'll be super tiring.
and i hope like more korean hip hop artists are gonna like promote more and stuff
they're so good but not well known sadlyyy

not to mention that korean variety shows are awesome..well some of it.
like running man,hello counselor, beatles code 2 and weekly idol.
my favs...i laughed till i cry watching these okay what have you doneee to me

Now there are stuff that i dont understand about this whole korean entertainment industry too..
first and most importantly... AEGYO.
wth is that for ..
dont get offended or anything these are just my thoughts so chill..
maybe people like it or what i dont even know man
but hello its so weird..
maybe for girls its still okay but guys
especially like if you ask those that dont make cutesy music people to do it
its so awkward..
they themselves feel awkward doing it pls
have you seen bang yongguk's aegyo omg bangs wall lmao
like i hope they stop maybe some is okay cause it seems so necessary to them but please dont overdo it
secondly the dating constriction or what so ever..
i dont think they have it in america if not jelena wont happen COUGHS.
well anyway it's so sad weih like they cant get married early and stuff..
why would you want them to only get married after 30 ..or something like that
but gotta admit that some fans are crazy and they might go kill your girlfriend..
thats the only scary part...
korean fans are super crazy you dont even want to know
those physcholy obsessed ones omg creepy as hell.
Thirdly,training period
this one really..
i know that its good to perfect a group before they debut and stuff..
but holy crap thats some scary period.
practice practice and more practice..
Fourthly,excessive make up
i still dont get why guy groups need excessive make up..
like eye liner and eye shadow and stuff..
but after a while i dont think its actually a problem anymore but still..
some put wayyyyy too much


did i bore you ahahhahah
i guess i should stop here before i keep ramble on ahahhah

tomorrow or rather today..
since its one already..
gotta eat breakfast with relatives..
wish me luck to wake up ahahha.
then evening meeting up with broccoli and pee at chatimeee..
LONG TIME NO SEE THEM I CRY




before i go obviously i need to share my latest obsession..
not getting over this music video cause perfect.
except the ending part its pretty ridiculous LOL
the choreo lemme love the choreographer pls

bye.

Old friends.

So today ..
after bio class..
su jean went to charge her phone..and reena has class and pee started cny holidays..
so i was alone going to the canteen and buy sandwich..
after i bought it i found a place and sat there the canteen was rather empty today ahaha..
and looked up and saw someone staring at me...LOL..
it was xin nee..
and she's with yi vien and tzy wei..
so i went and join them..
yay not alone anymore LOLOLOLOL..
and we talked ..
after like 15 minutes..xin nee and yivien went to class..
But tzy wei was done for the day..
so we kept sitting there and talk..
i didnt know she could speak mandarin until she was speaking it with xin nee..
ASDFGHJKL ALL THIS WHILE I'VE BEEN SPEAKING ENGLISH TO HER..
so after like xin nee and yi vien went to class..we started to talk in english again..
cause we both agreed that speaking mandarin to each other is hella weird..
SO WE KEPT TALKING AND TALKING..
then she said she's hungry and went to buy fried chicken..
and we shared it and talked somemore LOOOOL..
like random stuff..
IT WAS NICE TALKING TO HER..
I've missed her after the bieber concert..

The first time we met each other was the randomest thing ever..
i've never even spoken to her during puchong days..
after i moved to kk..
one day she just fb msged and ask me am i going to the bieber concert..
cause she need somebody to teman..
so i was like yeah...
so in the end we went together..

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HELLA AWKWARD..
cause it's just the both of us
and thats the first day we actually started talking to each other omg
it was so funny..
BUT IT ENDED UP BEING NOT AWKWARD AT ALL..
so grateful to her she's so niceeee


Talking to old friends are one of the best things ever..
It reminds you why you guys were friends in the first place..
and it just keeps your heart warm and fuzzy..
I liked that..
hahhaha


Hoping to see her around and xin nee they all too..
want to talk to them moreeee :D

Overwhelmeddd

So im not gonna rant about how long i didnt update my blog..
or how tough my chemistry test was..
or how studying in college is tough as hell..


oh and its twelve forty a.m now and im blogging..
and i have classes tomorrow..
god im crazyyy..
guess i was just happy that all my tests finished todayy..
and i can go back at threee tomorrow :D
WHY WOULD THEY EVEN ALLOW TESTS BEFORE CNY.
MEAN I TELL YOU MEAN.


Anyway college is nice i guess except tests..assignments..reports..and bio as my first class..
man the teacher really..
its my first class but it feels like the last class...
its soooo boring im die.
i was just staring at the slides and wishing that time would pass faster..
so dead for bio test..
and i havent even got that bio text book yet ..
cause apparently its out of stock..
how could youuu


saw mr mahesh while i was walking to class today..
lmao i said hi to him and he said hi back..
he is so cute looool



Anyway..
i just finished watching my first ever korean drama looool..
you know that overwhelmed feeling after you finish a drama or movie..
like i cant even keep calm yettt
i've seen a lot of gifs on tumblr so i was really curious and started watching this..
but its an old drama though like 2011?
I've tried to watch a couple of korean dramas in the past like the innocent man and reply 1997 but i stopped watching after the first episode LOLOLOLOL..idekw
wait i didnt even finish watching the first episode gawddd


I dont know why i didnt give up on this drama lol..
it has the worst name i've ever seen..
"shut up flower boy band"
lmao the title made me cringe and i actually doubted if i should start watching it or not...
since i was really bored i decided to watch it and got totally obsessed man..

maybe its because the whole thing is about music..
and maybe because the songs are really nice..
and maybe because taeyang's brother is in it like a cameo
and maybe because the dude in the nell video i wept about 'lee min ki' is in it too..
thats why i thought he was so familiar wtc
and maybe because i like how one of the dude speaks without moving his lips lmao
its really attractive to me for some reason? lol
and maybe because it made me cry like shit at the first few episode goddd
and maybe because the girl's voice is super nice..
its so special i've never heard someone sing like that beforeee
but she's only featured in like the last 10 or less episodes ..
and the guy's voice is totally nice man omg..
and he's a model turned actor originally instead of a singer wtc


i love this drama to pieces omg..
maybe i'll rewatch it after a few months asdfghjkl;



okay im done expressing my love ahahahhaa..
now i feel like i can go to sleep better ahahahha



CNY is coming are you guys excitedddddd....

WISHING YOU GUYS A HAPPY EARLY CHINESE NEW YEAR

since i dont know when will be the next time i update bwahahaha

may the snake year bring you lots of joy and great memories to keep :)



and im thinking of disabling the music player on my bloggg..
hmmm should i? :)

"Eveil is knowing better but doing worse."

COLLEGE ORIENTATION DAY

I had trouble sleeping yesterday cause i was nervous stupid i dont even know for what criessss.
which means i had trouble waking up lawl
wait i will have trouble waking up anywaysss..
So traffic was horrible..
i decided that i cant drive to college next time even after i got my license..
with that traffic jam..i'll probably fall asleep there or i'll cut everybody.



So finally reached there with my dad..
APPARENTLY THERES LIKE 1000000000000 PPL TAKING MUFY.
The queue for mufy was so long i thought people were queuing for free food.
They distributed the file and stuff and ask me to go to some certain classroom WITH STAIRS.
So i nearly got lost because so damn big.
Finally got there..no one i know is there so i just sat down awkwardly (COUGHSS AS USUAL)
Then two of the mufy instructor came in and decided that its ice breaking time wow what a surprise.
so basically they gave each of us a piece of paper with 20 questions on it.
i.e. who likes to travel,who can sing,who cooks
and you kinda need to go around and find people that actually fits the description.
and the names cannot be repeated.
SO I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO AND SOCIALIZE.
well it was pretty fun though.
but i wouldnt want to do it again.Okay.



Then we went down to the hall and uh listen to a bunch of speeches..
and i yawned as much as those words coming out of their mouth.
Some of it was funny and interesting tho.
But they have like too little clubs seriously..
and they're all like basic clubs i cryyy
i thought college would have more interesting clubs thoooo
Everything in there is either IT or student card
LIKE IF YOU DONT HAVE A STUDENT CARD OR USERNAME AND PASSWORD
THATS THE END OF YOUR LIFE IN CAMPUS
okay im exaggerating but seriously thooo
The campus is surrounded with wifi connection and if you dont have username and password,
you cant access the sexy wifi
Well..i need to get mine quickly..
and cant wait to go to the library to see what books they have
hopefully there's fictionnnn :D



Now i realize there's a lot of people from smkkk and smkpbp going for mufy
BUT I DONT SEE ANYONE HELLO WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE.
I only saw reena and emily and some science one people
every other people taking other stuff lol
oh yea and by the way i need go there super early like everyday because i cant drive yet and dad is dropping me off when he goes to work.
THATS WHY MY NOVELS ARE THERE FOR ME :3
but if you're reading this blog and going to sunway college early please come and entertain me.
sincerely,Alicia.




Here comes the DENGDENGDENGDENG part
so i was looking at my timetable like randomly..
and BAM ENGLISH AND MATHEMATICS PLACEMENT TEST
like WHY DIDNT I KNEW ABOUT THIS
I havent written in like so long i've only been editing pictures like what is ABC.
When my brain is rusty oh ITS RUSTY.
and lemme tell you.
ENGLISH JUST RIPPED MY HEART OUT AND SQUEEZE IT INFRONT OF MY EYES.
yea thats how a hell english was.
Math was easier than english..
and Alicia would never ever say math is easier especially while comparing to ENGLISH.
BUT I JUST DID
Like i was so shocked by the english standards i need to improve it like ASAP right now
I keep telling my dad english test was so tough english test was so tough like a hundred times
i think he wanted to sew up my mouth.
LIKE IT WAS SO TORTURERS UP TO THE POINT WHERE IM ACTUALLY AMAZED BY IT OKAY
im gonna improve my english
there..i have a new years resolution now.LOL





So i THOUGHT we needed a calculator for the math test.
and I WENT ALL THE WAY TO CHEAU TYAN TO BORROW ONE.
since she's in A-levels so she's like the other side of the campus
ran there ran back
THEY SAID CALCULATOR WAS NOT ALLOWED.
I was so near to just bang my head with the calculator till the calculator bleed but since it's cheau tyan so...
Im so grateful to her tho
I'LL HELP YOU PEE LIKE NEXT TIME I SWEAR :)



It was tiring so tiring but somehow it was amazing as well.
THERE'S LIKE A 3 HOUR CAMPUS TOUR TOMORROW LOL
BYE MY LOVELY LEGS.
YOU'VE SERVED ME WELL.




Shall sleep early today so tomorrow wouldnt be all fuzzy and dreamy.
IM EXCITED FOR TOMORROW
SO BRING IT ON.
MAY GOOD STUFF HAPPEN TO ME bwahahahah
AND MAY ME MAKE NICE FRIENDS..
but since we havent choose our subject yet..
its kinda useless to make friends now lol..
anyhow im quite hopeless in making friends lmao
SO THANK YOU MY FRIENDS NOW OR PREVIOUSLY FOR BEING MY FRIENDS.
YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU OKAY





its nearly ten so i should do some tumblring and sleep :)
may tomorrow be good for you and me :D

The day before

So i just watched a really depressing mv..
lmao or rather a sad mv..
and i cried like shit omgawwwd.






if you wanna watch the video please watch it first like i beg you.. lol cause spoilers are coming up.. but really,you should watch it and interprete it yourself first.. although its a korean song but hey there's translations :D i thought about you guys okay :D you're welcome :) Now watch it.



so i watched the eatyourkimchi awards and they introduced this song.. then i was like oh cool maybe i will try to listen/watch it. The first time watching it i have no idea what was happening except for a guy dying. Then i was like this  confuses me i should look up the meaning.. So i said hi to google obviously.. some comments on youtube helped too.. but there still isnt a fix meaning to it so people can actually just say anything about it.



There are people who's saying they are a gay couple..which okay fine it can be.. but most of them are saying that they are friends. I'll just name them as short hair guy and long hair guy cause i think they are actors not the actual singers..either or ..i still no nothing bout the names so yeaaa. Okay so apparently short hair guy committed suicide and he filmed it. and his friend (long hair guy) somehow gotten the tape/camera set so the long haired guy went back to the scene and watched the friend's video. and i guess he was talking too or thinking like how to safe his friend. basically its like that.



I was thinking like how lonely it must've been to die alone.. with depression wrap all around you.. with no one there ... with no hope at all... and how easy for him to pour the poison into his coffee.. it makes me instantly sad watching him die like that..


and for the friend.. how sad would he be knowing that the friend ended his own life.. without telling him.. and how helpless would he be knowing that he could've maybe done something.. and imagine him watching the video thinking about all the unspoken stuff that he hasn't said out loud to him yet. and watching his friend step by step giving up on his life wow.



i couldnt imagine being him.. i couldnt imagine people close to me dying i couldnt imagine how people choose to just stop breathing like that i couldnt imagine what they've been / going through to come down to such a cruel decision i just couldnt






the song is just so sad but yet so beautiful  the lyrics and video and the beat and the singer's voice and the violin in the background just go so well and layered this song with such thick emotions  makes one wonder about life and no one said its going to be easy but i hope people would just hold on or call out for help you know. maybe i dont understand the depression they're experiencing and maybe i never will.. but sighs....... i dont know.

this video is not real but there are stuff like this happening and its not even right well i just hope they would find someone or even something to save them or hold on to cause i dont think anybody would really want to die deep down somewhere in their hearts.



while i was watching the video i just really hoped that i know how to lip read in korean lol.. cause they were murmuring something and i dont understand a single thing well obviously hah. gah i wish i knew what were they talking about.



this post is quite depressing huh well im sorry i just feel like posting about it :) so i shall stop here now,lemme know what you think or what's your take on the video :) would like to hear from different people.

Honestly, this is the truth 

There is no use in trying to hold on to the scattered pieces