So I am writing this while choosing songs to put on here. I love this part. I have work tomorrow, it is twelve in the morning and I have so much on my mind lately I feel like I should revive this blog. Till' I come on here and typing actual shit I get sooooo lazy and don't feel like writing them anymore. Amazing.

Heading for Australia in less than 2 months?! Yes this is insane and this is actually happening. Going as an exchange student for only 6 months but I am hella hyped. I hope I didn't overestimate myself on this. I hope Australia makes me love it as much as I hope I would. I hope I meet new people, a lot of new people. I used to think i don't like people that much,which is rather still true,that explains why I don't go out every other night, I like the people that I like. However, I've grown to be really fascinated by people, by the way they act, by the kind and by the not-so. I've gotten myself out there since I got into uni I do stuff rather independently now I go to places alone now and the people that I've encountered are beyond sweet and I'm starting to really like people even the not so sweet ones. Another thing I am trying really hard not to judge people but i caught myself doing it unconsciously sometimes and wonder if it's human nature but anyways I am still working on it.

I am sooo into Kehlani lately she bout to be my main bae. She is so precious.

Yes hello this is a warning things get a lil more depressing over this one.
Do people actually get over deaths because if they do i must be doing it wrong because I don't think I can ever get over grandma's death like I miss her so much. Well its not those hardcore depression prone kind but it literally felt like she took a lil chunk of my heart with her like i actually feel the emptiness of the lil chunk and I was hoping it will kinda grow back like maybe it would pull some mitosis shit but its been 50 days and still no sign of that. The whole ritual is shady af and who for sure know what happen after death I literally have so many questions but I just really hope she is actually in a better place and is happy right now tho I would never know. I guess I just really need her existence and I kinda did not prepare self to go through people leaving me when I should. Its kinda funny how i thought that everyone would live longer than me hah.
I tried to recall what was the last thing she said to me and Im pretty sure she said "ok its enough,kar wai" in cantonese of course. Literally no one would call me kar wai in cantonese like she did anymore and I really need that.  So the story behind that was me rubbing her tummy for the air to get out or something like that, and it's been a while plus I was standing by her hospital bed,so i guess she thinks that I am tired so she asked me to stop.

Oh won't you look at that

Ahahahahaha guess this explained why the blog is called permanent writings instead of consistent writings. It's been pretty crazy how time passed though pretty sure its been a year? or more? ? ahahah I got in uni and stuff and even done with sem 1 , therefore, it feels right to come back here and write about everything again. SO, I'm here now at 4am too full on popcorn to sleep writing about stuff again.

Hmmm getting into uni is not the most nerve wrecking thing ever but its decent, there are a lot of good people and really nice experiences though on the other hand weekends do not feel like weekends and they have like long breaks in between exams such a torture. Plus its expensive as hell like wow not just monash like everywhere else too why does education cost so much. Anyways 1 sem down 5 more to go. Forget about that because hey I have like a whole month full of holidays and Adriadne is coming back soon so hell yeah but i feel like working too. Did i tell you I got a record player with my first ever earned salary? ahahha pretty crazy, but apparently i have to get a radio for it to actually work and now im using my parents really old wonky one. So I'm considering to get a job and get a new radio and heard that infinite is coming here again (fingers crossed). So yeah definitely need the money.

The start of my sem break has been insane midnight movies and more movies tomorrow because bro asked for it, and i think our family is pretty cool like we still go to movies with our parents. Maybe thats exactly the opposite of cool bc why am I still do that like Im a grown 18 year old pffft, but i think that its really cool that my parents put up with like stuff like these so I am grateful, though I know they are forced to /whispers/ brothers the king.

My car has been in a pretty bad condition as in I screwed up and hit and run and someone screwed up and pulled a hit and run on me too. Ok like hit and run is not exactly the right-est thing to do but at that time it was because it was a parked car and I have no idea what the hell am I suppose to do than to just hope that the person somehow could manage to find me so we could sort it out, but its been almost a month now and still no news I kinda felt guilty about it but I don't even know what I feel now.Maybe also partly because of someone did that to my car so i thought it was ok to do it to others as well but clearly not the best decision i made in life.


I hope I could get like 60% off my subjects this sem so i could actually apply to go to australia for 6 months next sem because I feel like it something that I should experience lmao sounds hella selfish but I want to try living in somewhere new without people that care about me. It would be hard though because people are hella racist and I can say this because I actually experienced it even as a tourist there so hah 2nd not so best decision in life?

I've been thinking and I kinda want to write it out here put i cant really put my thoughts into words maybe one day when i have great vocab and after my brain sorts itself out I would gladly lay out my thoughts here.


Maybe I should sleep its half past 4 AM god and I have to get up 4 hours later to fetch mum and did i mention I am the worst with directions ahahah one time tried coming back from one utama but went straight to kuala lumpur that was a hella rad one i must say.


GOODNIGHT.